Prevention, Finding Support A Struggle In East Texas

From the Tyler Morning Telegraph:

By KENNETH DEAN
Staff Writer

After her 18-year-old son Jared's suicide, Carol Johnson said she felt helpless and even had thoughts of taking her own life.

But, with the help of a group called Compassionate Friends and networking with others who have suffered a loss of a loved one by their own hand, the Lindale native was able to regain control of her life and move forward.
Ms. Johnson is now armed with experience and ready to help others with her newly founded group, Touched by Suicide.

But Ms. Johnson said those contemplating suicide need more help in East Texas, and prevention and signs should be taught in local schools to help battle the problem with school-age children and to teach them early that help is available.

“Suicide is part of an illness. You don't just wake up one day and say, ‘I'm going to kill myself.' There needs to be more education on this subject, because every 16 minutes in this country alone someone takes their life,” she said.


COMFORT AND HOPE
Joy Biggs said she too struggled with every day life after her son Josh Dunlap took his life in 2004.

As she reached out for help, she quickly learned there were no groups in the area for those left behind by suicide.

Ms. Biggs said she researched and learned there was a Suicide Survival Therapy course in Dallas, so for eight weeks, she traveled back and forth to attend the classes.

“It was very helpful and taught me how to deal with some of the feelings I had. Josh was my son and I just felt like at times I had failed him in some ways. There was a lot of guilt,” she said.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the feelings for those left behind after a family member commits suicide include shock, symptoms of depression, anger, relief (because it may have ended a long and difficult mental illness) and guilt.

Ms. Biggs, Ms. Johnson and David Terrell, who lost his son Andy to suicide in 2003, all said the help and support from others going through the same thing is what pulled them through the difficult times.

“There is no map on this path to becoming whole after the loss of a loved one to suicide. It is the most painful of journeys — full of twists and turns, bruised hearts and misunderstandings. Small wonders appear on this path, but we may be too sore or fragile to recognize them. But there will be a day when you can look back and know that they were there,” the AFSP Survivor Council states in a brochure.
In Dallas organizers have put together conferences and “Out of the Darkness Walks” to bring survivors together and to gain attention for their cause.

Ms. Johnson said while her group is relatively new, it already is helping those who are participating, and she hopes to grow the group so that more families can begin the healing process.

“I know someone that had not talked about the suicide in their family for 20 years. That is a long time to hold something in, and now they are talking about it and it is helping,” she said.


EDUCATION AND PREVENTION
The main resources for those contemplating suicide in the Tyler area are the Andrews Center and the East Texas Medical Center's Behavioral Health Center, but there is no area crisis line where one can talk immediately to a trained counselor.

Lacy Canion, ETMC Behavioral Health Center operations manager, said the reason is because of the possibility for liability.

Ms. Canion said she lost an immediate family member to suicide after she began her career in helping others, and she knows the pain of wondering why a family member would take his or her life.

Ms. Canion agreed with Ms. Johnson and Ms. Biggs, saying more could be done, but added her facility has trained counselors and psychiatric professionals to work with those with thoughts of suicide.

Ms. Johnson said, however, that everyday people need to be educated about the signs of someone thinking about suicide because often times the hospitals will release a person after a few days, and then they are thrust back into reality with all of the same problems.

The hospital “had Jared for four days, and then they sent him home with no instructions as to what I should do or look for,” she said.
Terrell said prevention begins with discussion and Ms. Biggs said schools need to get on board and start programs for children.

“There needs to be more discussion about this because it is very real and it affects a lot of people,” Terrell said. “The people who commit suicide truly believe there is no other way. The more we can talk about it, then the chances of preventing it increases,” Terrell said.


SIGNS AND WARNINGS
Professionals say there are clear warning signs when it comes to someone thinking about suicide and knowing the signs can save a life.

According to the AFSP, the imminent dangers include threatening to hurt or harm self, looking for ways to kill self, talking or writing about death, dying or suicide, or has made plans for a serious attempt. Someone who starts giving all of their possessions away also may be contemplating suicide.
Other indicators may include insomnia, intense anxiety or panic attacks, a feeling of being trapped or hopeless, full of rage and anger or feeling as if there is no reason to live.

Between 50 and 75 percent of all suicides had warning signs, and the person had give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
Professionals say if you notice the signs in a loved one, then talk to them and if needed seek help immediately.

Ms. Biggs said her son had two failed suicide attempts before he took his life, but she said he did display the warning signs.

However, she added he knew how to say just the right things and was even released from hospitals because he convinced the professionals he was OK.
Ms. Johnson said she is optimistic because the topic of suicide is finally garnering the attention of the U.S. military and she hopes studies the government is doing will give new insights about the problem.

“We need more prevention and just talking about it is a prevention tool. By not talking about it we are just ostracizing people,” she said.
Ms. Johnson’s group meets the second Tuesday of every month at the East Texas Center for Independent Living, 4713 Troup Highway. Ms. Johnson said anyone who wants to attend can call her at 903-574-3127.